Beauty and the Bill
by PropertyOfH
Summary: MaBill. Hmm... MayBill? M-m-mah-Bill?... Muh...Bill.
1. Crazed Fangirls Fight Over Some Roses

I **remember back in April, when I just started writing fanfiction, I read a MaBill story. This pairing was new to me, and I didn't understand how Bill could be human (had the writer ever _watched_ Sock Opera?). I laughed it off, thinking it was just another poor-written story. That is, until I realized it was actually a common pairing. **

**Seriously, Bill is an evil dream demon! He fails to grasp simple human concepts, such as tickling or weariness! So... love? Sorry, not happening. How would Mabel even have a relationship with an omnipresent being who tried to ruin her family's lives several times? Why would she even fall in** **_love_ with him?** **And lastly, BILL CANNOT BECOME A HUMAN.**

 **And don't get me started on BillDip.**

 **I can handle Fiddlestan. I might be able to bear sloppy Dipifica stories. But MaBill is my third least favorite pairing (behind BillDip and Pinecest). And now, I will prove that MaBill can never be.**

The Love God used to always be hard at work. From making people fall in love, to brewing love potions, to rap battles with Aphrodite, he was always busy. But since the internet was invented, he got a lot more free time, and enjoyed his position much more. More time for music, more time for sandwiches, and it's way more fun to make people fall in love when you don't do it 24/7.

Oh, and more time for his daughters.

Ah, his beloved daughters. Each of them with a different, lovely personality. Well, all 34.6 billion of them.

Buckle up, because this is going to get complicated.

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A curious thing about his daughters is that each of them is the embodiment of love pairings from books, movies, and TV shows. From Harry Potter, to Naruto, to Star vs. the Forces of Evil, there was no pairing left behind. The Love God nicknamed them 'shiplings'. Also, he thought that the most interesting thing was that the very universe he lived in even had pairings.

Each shipling was named after the ship it embodies. There was Dipifica, Melsoos, Wendip, Mermabel, Wampers, Tambie, Grendius, MaBill, Pinecest, BillDip, Candip, Mabifica... the list went on and on. It'd take too long to list and describe all of them, but we'll go over the ones who'll be in this story.

Melsoos (the shipling of Melody and Soos) actually looked a lot like Melody herself. She was 18 years old. Melsoos had a heavy build, with caramel, frizzy hair, and full lips. She was the most mature out of all shiplings, yet, as with Melody, she never wanted to be an adult. However, when danger arises, she'll take a stand and be a leader for everyone. Kinda like Soos.

Dipifica, the shipling of Dipper and Pacifica, was usually the most romantic of the shiplings. If a girl would so much as smile at a boy, she'd already be making wedding plans. She was constantly obsessing over Dipper and Pacifica's relationship, not realizing that 12 years old was _way_ too young for a serious relationship. Dipifica looked a bit like Pacifica, but had shorter and darker hair.

Wendip was the shipling of Wendy and Dipper. Despite that Dipper and Wendy falling in love was proven false, Wendip still had hope for the pairing. She was very tall, and had long, brown hair. She was about 14 years old. Now, this may be a little strange, but Wendip didn't seem to understand that age may interfere with love. In the back of her mind, she knew that it was possible for toddlers to marry the elderly. OK, so it's _really_ strange. Why would she think this? Beats me. Maybe it has something to do with Dipper and Wendy's age gap.

Now, don't think we'd forget MaBill! She looked like Mabel, but with a lot more makeup. If you thought Wendip's perspective on love was weird, this is even stranger. MaBill thought that any _one_ and any _thing_ could fall in love. Humans with animals. Humans with plants. Humans with inanimate objects. While this isn't as creepy as Wendip, it's sorta awkard when somebody's giving their dog a walk and she starts trying to set them up. MaBill doesn't have a firm grasp on what Bill can't do, such as turning human, flirting, and loving.

Lastly, we have BillDip, a blond-haired 11-year-old kid, and one of the rare shiplings who was a boy. His personality? Imagine MaBill's. Then magnify it by 10x. That's BillDip.

Whew! I probably just offended a whole lot of people right now. We haven't even talked about Pinecest or Mabifica yet! But, I'll stop there, and get back to the story.

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The Love God crept through the forest, looking for the Gravity Falls shiplings. They always hid out in the forest, usually finding monsters, and getting them to fight.

Finally, he caught sight of the shiplings. "Father!" they squealed, and before the Love God could do anything, he was tackled to the ground getting hugged furiously. Some even tickled him.

"Ha, ha, STOP! Hee hee hee! Okay, get off! That's good! Ha ha ha! Enough!"

Imagine being greeted like this every day.

Once the shiplings got off of the Love God, he cleared his throat. "My daughters! I have good news, and more good news!"

The shiplings sat around the Love God and made an audience, exremely interested.

"The good news is, you have a new sibling!"

The shiplings murmered excitedly.

"Here he is!"

A short, old, fat man appeared next to the Love God. He had a long, scraggly beard, and wore a red cap.

"Say hello to your new brother, Schmendin!"

The shiplings' faces fell. "Schmendin?!"

The Love God beamed. "Yep! The shipling of Schmebulock and Blendin Blandin!"

The shiplings groaned in disgust.

"Gross!"

"They don't even know each other!"

"Why would... It's just... Aah!"

"I think it's cute!"

"You think everything's cute, Pinecest."

"Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

Schmendin just stood there, smiled, and exclaimed. "Schmendin!"

"Wow, dad, that's awesome." deadpanned Dipifica. "But what's the other good news?!"

"Huh?" asked the Love God, slightly confused. "Uh... wait, what was it?... Oh yeah! I found a True Bouquet!"

Everyone gasped and chattered excitedly. A True Bouquet was a dream come true for every shipling that existed. It looked like an ordinary bouquet of flowers, but it could do something much more. You know how at weddings, how the bride throws a bouquet to women for good luck? Well the True Bouquet sorta worked like a love potion. Someone would perform the special True Bouquet Toss, and whoever caught it had a chance to make anybody fall in love with anyone. Mind you, it was only a one-way thing. For example, you can make a man fall in love with a woman, but the woman might not fall in love with him.

With the True Bouquet, the shiplings could make their own pairing become canon. There have already been a few True Bouquets used before, and since then, Dipper became madly in love with Wendy, and Pacifica has a huge crush on Dipper.

The Love God stood still. The shiplings realized he was waiting for him to be quiet, and a hush fell over the area.

"Schmendin!" said Schmendin.

"Okay, let's do the True Bouquet Toss!"

The Love God pulled out the True Bouquet. The flowers were pink roses, and the were slightly shaped like hearts. He swung it around, and around, and around...

 **Whoosh!**

The Bouquet sailed into the air. Up it went! The Bouquet flew so high, that it appeared to shrink. It flew higher, and higher, and higher, and higher...

And higher...

"Uh, I might've thrown it too hard." confessed the Love God sheepishly.

* * *

 **7 hours later**

11:03 p.m. The shiplings were in the forest, in their sleeping bags.

MaBill sat up. "Has it come down yet?"

Melsoos, awake and looking into a telescope, searching for the True Bouquet, told MaBill no.

Suddenly, Melsoos jerked. "THERE IT IS! IT'S COMING DOWN!"

All the shiplings rustled in their sleeping bags, but a couple of shiplings shot up instantly: MaBill, Dipifica, Mabifica, BillDip, and Pinecest.

Melsoos chuckled. This would be interesting. You see, shiplings that shipped a pairing that involve one of the same people tended to hate each other. 5 different shipling combinations with only 4 people. Yep, this may get messy.

The shiplings squinted at the sky, seeking for the True Bouquet. Plop! Something landed a few feet behind them. They turned around, seeing a bouquet of flowers next to Wendip's sleeping bag.

They lunged for it, wrestling to get it, when BillDip snuck out of the fight holding the bouquet.

"Ha! I did it! Now to-"

BillDip looked closely at the bouquet. It was just a regular bouquet of red roses.

"Ha! Fooled ya!" exclaimed Wendip, sitting up, with the True Bouquet in her hands. All she had to do was say the pairing. "I ship W-" Wendip was immediately tackled by BillDip, Dipifica, and Pinecest. Even Candip and Fiddlestan woke up, and helped by punching Wendip in the face. MaBill grabbed the True Bouquet, but it got snatched by Mermabel.

Meanwhile, Dipifica, Mabifica, and Pinecest were brawling, even though none of them were close to getting the True Bouquet.

The whole time this was happening, Melsoos and Grendius were watching the fight next to their sleeping dad. They were eating popcorn.

When Mermabel wasn't looking, Wendip replaced the True Bouquet with the normal bouquet of roses. However, a dark hand snatched away the Bouquet. It pulled it up to a figure sitting in a tree. She stood up. It was MaBill.

"I ship MaBill! Bill will fall for Mabel! NOW!" she chanted. The bouquet exploded and turned into a couple of white doves, who flew away into the night sky, while the other shiplings stared at MaBill in defeat.

 **You weren't expecting all of that, were you? Eh... it sounded better in my head.**

 **Please review: questions, suggestions, request-tions, tell me how it is, answers will be provided!**

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 **ThE sPiRiT oF tHe TrUe BoQuEt**


	2. Bill Bribes Mabel With a Bunny

**I'd like to thank everybody for leaving a review! Everybody have virtual marshmallows! Roasted by FFFLLLLAAAAAMMMMEEEEESSSS from angered MaBill fans.**

It was a rainy, dull, Sunday evening.

Mabel was bored. There was nothing to do. All of her chores have been done. Dipper was in the basement with Ford, Grunkle Stan was shopping for food (probably shoplifting it), Waddles was asleep, Candy had the flu... no one to talk or play with.

Nothing good was on TV. Mabel's favorite show was Duck-tective, but unfortunately, Duck-tective was on Diznee channel. For some reason, Diznee airs only one episode every month, and constantly puts four-month hiatuses every couple episodes! Dumb Diznee channel...

All Mabel could do was lounge around on the sofa in the living room and watch lame TV shows.

Suddenly, the TV turned to static. The power flickered, and lightning flashed outside. A mere second later Mabel heard thunder. She looked around nervously, afraid of being alone.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! **AHAHAHAHAHAHA!** "

With a jolt, Mabel realized that laugh belonged to Bill. The room turned gray, and unfortunately, Bill appeared.

"HELLO, MABEL! DO YOU HAVE A BAND-AID?"

Mabel frowned angrily. "Bill! Go away! You possessed Dipper, you jerk! There is NOTHING you can do to make a deal with me!"

"ANSWER THE QUESTION!" shrieked Bill.

"Wha-? Wait, Band-Aid? Uh... why?

"'CAUSE I SCRAPED MY KNEES FALLING FOR YOU!"

Mabel groaned at Bill's dumb pick-up line. Was this a new tactic?

"Bill, are you trying to... flatter me? It's not working."

"WAIT, WAIT! I GOT ONE MORE. YOU KNOW, OUT OF ALL YOUR BEAUTIFUL CURVES, YOUR SMILE IS MY FAVORITE!"

Mabel smiled for a moment, then realized that this was Bill. "Stop it, Bill! What are you doing?"

"I'VE CHANGED, MY LITTLE SHOOTING STAR. HEY, DO YOU WANT A HEAD THAT ALWAYS SCREAMS?"

"A what?"

Bill clapped his hands, and suddenly, a severed head appeared on the ground. It started screaming.

"Bill, that's gross! Get it out of here!"

"NO, WAIT! IT GETS EVEN BETTER!"

Bill snapped his fingers. A necklace appeared on Mabel, with diamonds, rubies, emeralds, a charm shaped like a shooting star, and... the screaming head.

"SO, WANNA GO OUT? ON A DATE? WHAT TIME? RIGHT NOW? SURE! LET'S GO!"

Mabel fumed. "Bill! What the heck is going on? You're worse at flirting than Dipper! Aren't you supposed to be, like, making deals and ruining people's lives? And get this disembodied head off of me!"

Bill started dancing around the room. "I'VE CHANGED, MY LITTLE SHOOTING STAR. I REALIZED THAT I'M NOW MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU! BY THE WAY, WHAT SHOULD OUR PAIRING NAME BE? I LIKE THE SOUND OF... BILABELL!"

Mabel sighed. "Listen, Bill. I know you're trying to be sweet, but I'm not interested. Now go away."

Bill's eye turned blue. His hand lit up with blue flames. "REALLY? WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING YOU'LL BE INTERESTED IN! IF YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME, THEN I'LL GIVE YOU A PET BUNNY!"

"Bill, that's not going to-"

"A _PINK_ BUNNY! AND IT CAN SPEAK!"

Mabel thought about that. A talking bunny? She couldn't pass up a chance like that. How bad could one date be? It's not like Bill could guilt trip her into dating him. After all, she learned her lesson from Gideon.

"OK, Bill. Just _one_ date. That's _it_. And I want my bunny _immediately_ after the date. Got it?"

"SURE THING, MABEL! JUST SHAKE MY HAND!"

Mabel hesitated for a moment, staring at the flickering flames. "DON'T WORRY! THESE FLAMES WON'T BURN!"

Mabel shook Bill's hand. The flames actually felt cold.

"So, where are we going to go?" asked Mabel.

"WELL, THERE'S THIS REALLY COOL PLACE IN THE MINDSCAPE CALLED ALP'S HANGOUT! LET'S GO THERE!"

"The Mindscape? Uh... can't we just go to-"

Suddenly, Bill turned red. His voice became distorted. " **NO!** " he shrieked. " **WE WILL GO TO ALP'S HANGOUT. YOU WILL LOVE IT, AND YOU WILL WEAR MY PET DISEMBODIED HEAD, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT!** "

Mabel stared at Bill. _This is what he calls romance?_ She started to regret making this deal.

Bill turned back to normal. "LET'S GO!" He waved his cane around, and a black, swirling vortex appeared. Bill shoved Mabel in, and she plunged into the darkness.

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 **Answer review time:**

 **ClaireBear (Guest review): _Ok. I know that you don't like Mabill but REALLY!? Some people LOVE Mabill! There are one of my favorite ships! Don't go saying that there not ment to be! Bill is a DEMON! He can shape shift at will! SO DONT JUDGE MABILL! I thought that this was poorly writin and that you should have had a better story line!_**

 ** _From,_**  
 ** _A very angry Mabill fan_**

 **Yes, I know many people LOVE MaBill, but no one who ships it really understands Bill. Yes, Bill is a demon. Yes, he can shape shift at will. But he is a DREAM demon. All he can do is manipulate people's minds and go into their dreams. He can't directly do anything to the real world, except casting a shadow. He could shape shift into a human, but he still couldn't be in the real world without possessing someone. He'd just look like a person, but still in Mabel's dreams. Maybe Mabel could be in love with Bill, but, it would be in her dreams. *rim shot***

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 **Review! Questions, suggestions, request-tions, all reviews are appreciated, and flames will be used to roast delicious virtual marshmallows.**

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 _bill's thoughts in italics_


	3. Mabel Becomes a Life-Sized Pink Triangle

_Fact of the Chapter: You may know that Dipper and Mabel's eyes are brown, but what about the other characters? These are the eye colors confirmed by Alex Hirsch:_

 _Stan: brown_

 _Wendy: green_

 _Gideon: blue_

 _Soos: "It's a mystery dude!"_

 **Hello! It's been a little while since I last updated, partly because of school and partly because I was waiting for the Last Mabelcorn to come out. Before I start, I want to answer one particular review:**

 **guest (Guest review): _Hi! I gotta say, I thought I was going to be mad since I'm an avid MaBill shipper but I'm liking it so far (Well, whatever you do I won't hate a story that makes sense). You have pointed out that Bill can ONLY operate IN THE MINDSCAPE and HE CANNOT SHIFT INTO A HUMAN FORM IN THIS PLANE. For that I am grateful._**

 ** _I do hope the goddesses will have some appearances again._**

 **Oh yes, the shiplings _will_ appear sometime soon. ****Enjoy!**

"WELCOME! TO THE ALP'S HANGOUT!"

Mabel blinked. She was sitting at a table inside a fancy restaurant. However, instead of people and families sitting at the other tables, there were horrific demons sitting at the table. She recognized a few: Slenderman, Laughing Jack, Herobrine... even the Big Bad Wolf. Yes, the guy from Red Riding Hood. Or was it the Three Little Pigs? Deal with it.

The demons seemed to be chaotic, yet polite. Mabel saw a few demons making a toast, clinking their glasses together, and then taking a bite out of the glass. She also saw a waiter handing an ogre-like monster a bill. The ogre's eyebrows furrowed. He then ate the waiter.

Mabel even saw a dream demon who looked similar to Bill, but he was blue and was a square. He was speaking to a humanoid made of lava.

"Isn't it awesome that I fooled the humans?" said the blue demon. "They think I'm just a regular guy who likes bread!" The two demons burst out laughing, and the lava monster breathed fire.

Mabel attention directed back to here table. Across from the table sat Bill.

"ALP'S HANGOUT IS A PLACE WHERE DREAM DEMONS CAN EAT IN PEACE! IT BEATS THE NIGHTMARE REALM BY A MILE! ISN'T THIS PLACE REAL SOMETHING, MABEL?"

It took all of Mabel's willpower not to say 'Yeah... something terrible!' Instead, she said, "Uhhh... yep, it's something all right." Mabel started to regret going on this date, but she remembered the pink bunny. Maybe it'd be worth it... she just had to make it through the date.

"NOW, FIRST WE NEED TO WORK ON YOUR WARDROBE."

Mabel looked down at her clothing. It wasn't that bad! She was wearing a green fuzzy sweater that had a little troll design which had actual hair. Very fancy.

"NEEDS WORK. LET'S SEE..." Bill snapped his fingers. Suddenly, Mabel was wearing a pink dress and a diamond tiara.

"TOO MUCH LIKE A PRINCESS."

Bill snapped again. Mabel now wore a silky purple dress, and her hair suddenly became straight instead of curly at the ends.

"EHH... NO, DOESN'T REALLY SUIT YOU."

Bill snapped another time. Mabel now wore a red shirt with a yellow star in the middle of it, denim jeans, and red flip-flops.

"HMM... NO, TOO STEVEN UNIVERSE."

Bill snapped one more time. Suddenly, Mabel turned into a triangle, like Bill, except pink. She also had a bow in her hair.

"OHH... I'M LIKIN' THAT LOOK!"

Mabel growled. "Bill, this is too strange. There's no way I'm looking like this." Mabel remembered that you can shift into any form you want in the Mindscape, so she willed herself to become normal again.

"AWW... PLEASE?" begged Bill.

"Nope."

" **WRONG ANSWER!** " screamed Bill, turning red. " **IF YOU DON'T, THEN NO BUNNY FOR YOU!** "

Mabel groaned. She willed herself to become a pink triangle again.

"VERY GOOD!" praised Bill. "HERE COMES OUR WAITER!"

A devil dressed in a tuxedo walked up to Bill and Mabel's table. " **H** **ello, Bill.** " said the waiter. He had a raspy, cold voice.

"SATAN!" greeted Bill. "IT'S BEEN SO LONG! HOW IS THE GRAHAM CRACKER BUSINESS GOING?"

" **You mean Penta-Grahams? They're selling great!** " exclaimed Satan. He then looked at Mabel in confusion. " **Who's the girl?** "

Bill sighed. "MABEL PINES... ISN'T SHE SOMETHING?"

Satan raised an eyebrow. " **Uh... she's human.** **And... you're a dream demon. So...** "

Bill became confused. "SO WHAT?"

Satan chuckled. " **Nothing, nothing! This'll be interesting. Anyways, what do you want to eat?** "

"I'LL HAVE ONE CONTAINER OF RAW, PURE ENERGY! YOU WANT THE SAME, MABEL?"

"No thank you?" said Mabel, slightly weirded out. "Um... is there a menu or something?"

" **Well, if you want human food and beverages, then you can conjure it up yourself.** "

"Really!?" exclaimed Mabel. She tried something she always wanted to do: eat a chocolate chip, inside of a marshmallow, inside a cookie, inside of an ice cream sandwich. Sure enough, it appeared along with a plate and a cup of lime flavored Mabel Juice with extra glitter and dice. Summoning whatever drink she wanted sorta reminded her of a book Dipper was talking about. What was it? Peter Johnson? Whatever. Maybe this wasn't a bad date after all. Just as she was about to take a bite of her ice cream sandwich, Bill interrupted.

"OH! I ALMOST FORGOT!" shrieked Bill.

The disembodied head necklace reappeared on Mabel. She almost forgot that it disappeared when they arrived at Alp's Hangout. She knew Bill would throw a fit if she took it off, but it was ruining her appetite. She wasn't that hungry anyway...

While they were waiting for Bill's meal to come, Bill started bragging about himself on how he designed the pyramids or something like that. Mabel nodded and said "Uh-huh" every once in a while, but she was preoccupied. Mabel couldn't wait to have her bunny. Also, she couldn't hear Bill very well over the screaming head.

Mabel planned to name her bunny Frederick. He would be best friends with Waddles. She always wanted to have a bunny, and now she could get a talking one! She just had to get through this date...

Satan came back with Bill's meal. " **One container of pure energy! Try not to kill anyone with it.** "

It was a very long dinner, but finally, it was over. Satan came back with the bill for the night's meal.

" **It will cost one memory of your laughter.** "

Bill avoided eye contact with Satan and started whistling. Wait... did he expect MABEL to give up a memory!? Bill seriously needed some work on his romance skills. Mabel didn't want to, but she thought about one time her fourth grade teacher told her a joke: 'What's black and white and red all over? A sunburned penguin!'

Suddenly, Mabel's mind cleared. She couldn't remember what she just thought of.

Bill chuckled. "WASN'T THAT AN AWESOME DATE, MY LITTLE SHOOTING STAR? WANNA GO OUT TOMORROW? IF YOU DO, I'LL GIVE YOU-"

"No, Bill. This date wasn't even worth it."

"I CAN MAKE YOUR TWO GRUNKLES FINALLY GET ALONG!"

This offer was extremely tempting to Mabel. But she didn't want a committed relationship with Bill bribing her with gifts in exchange for dates. "No, Bill. Take me home."

Bill sighed. "YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND, SHOOTING STAR! PINE TREE SAYS TO WAKE UP AND ASKS WHY THERE'S A BUNNY IN THE LIVING ROOM!"

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Suddenly, Mabel awoke. Dipper was shaking her.

"Mabel! Wake up! There's a pink bunny in here!"

Mabel shot up. Sure enough, there was a pink bunny in the living room. She screamed in delight, picked up the bunny, and gave him a hug.

"I'll call you Frederick."

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Meanwhile, a very angry shipling just witnessed Mabel's date.

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 **Answer review time:**

 **SophiaCrutchfeild: _Funny._** _ ** _I actually sh_ ip MaBill, but I know it will never be cannon. You don't have to rub it in. Anyway, Bill can enter the physical plane. He ripped Dipper out of his body, remember?**_  
 _ **Still, this is amusing. I have to admit, I did laugh somewhat.**_  
 _ **In conclusion, I'm somewhere between being offended, and liking the story... But I could still go either way, so.**_

 **Bill did rip Dipper out of his body, but can't completely interact with the physical plane. I still think the pairing is absurd, because Bill doesn't really act like himself in MaBill stories. It's as if Mabel is being shipped with a person who isn't Bill. However, I don't want to offend you. Whatever I say that happens in this story is not intended to offend the shippers, but the pairing itself.**

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 **Mabel x Mermando fan: I _agree with your opinion on Mabill, it's my biggest NOTP ever with it's annoying fandom basically ranting on my ship (MerMabel) On how he's "married" and it will "never become canon" even though their ship is total crack! I mean, he basically threatened Mabel in 'The Sock Opera' that he would drop her! And from that height, it could've KILLED her. As for my ship however, there's a possibility for him to escape or something. So yeah._**  
 ** _Anyways, great story! XD_**

 **Seriously? They were ranting on Mermabel because it would never become canon? Wow... they shouldn't be talking.**

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 **Bill'sNewLove**


	4. Bill Jr is Here

**Thank you for all of your reviews! I'm surprised how many MaBill shippers actually like this story. Thank you! This story hasn't gotten any flames, and MaBill shippers who were upset with this story have been very mature about it. Sorry, guys, bear with me here. Thank you Azuri for your suggestions, I will use them!**

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"AAGH!" screamed MaBill. "WHAT WAS _THAT!?_ "

"Well, what were you expecting?" said Wendip.

"Why did Bill... why... just... is he even TRYING? I thought he was smarter than that!"

"I'm pretty sure romance is a little different in the Nightmare Realm." said Melsoos matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, but... couldn't he at least go somewhere in the real world?" complained MaBill.

"No. He's only a dream demon." said Melsoos.

"SHUT UP!" screamed MaBill. "What's the incantation to summon Bill?

Wendip and Melsoos looked at each other. It was a bad omen among shiplings to meet a character whom they ship.

"Well..." said Melsoos. "He CAN see you if you draw a triangle with an eye, but I'm not sure how-"

"DONE!" exclaimed MaBill. She already scratched a shape of Bill into the forest ground. "Hey, Bill!" yelled MaBill at the ground. "Your hat is lame!"

Nothing happened.

"You stink at flirting with Mabel!"

Nothing happened.

"I have crazy straws for you!"

"WHERE!?" Suddenly, Bill appeared, looking around frantically for some crazy straws.

"Just kidding! I want to talk about something else!"

Bill narrowed his eye. "OH, I SEE! YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY INCANTATION. SORRY, NO DICE!" Bill turned around, as if to leave.

"But I have something YOU'D be interested in!"

Bill faltered. "AND WHAT IS THAT?"

"I don't want to brag or anything," said MaBill, the exact thing you say when you're about to brag. "But I'm a GODDESS of romance. Specifically, the goddess of YOU and MABEL'S relationship."

"SO?" said Bill. "I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF IT'S WORKING OUT..."

"I can _help_ you! Just disguise yourself as a human!"

Bill chuckled. "I'M NOT WILLING TO HELP PEOPLE IF THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW MY LIMITS! I HAVE TO _POSSESS_ SOMEONE, FOOL!"

" _Bill._ " said MaBill sternly. "Just think about Mabel. Her long, bouncy hair. Her lucious, chocolate eyes. Her..." Yeah, blah, blah, blah. I'm not good at romance fics. You know what Mabel looks like.

MaBill was using a talent that shiplings were very good at: persuasion. Bill suddenly couldn't resist Mabel.

"OK, OK, OK! PLEASE HELP ME! OUR KIDS WILL BE NAMED BOB AND BILL JR.!"

MaBill smiled. Bill was like putty in her hands. Getting them together would be no problem.

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 **Answer review time:**

 **Kair4m3ll (guest review): _In the next chapter, MaBill will kill Gideon. At least that's what I think will happen._**

 **Um... no.  
**

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 **Whisperer (guest review):** _ **Is the part Bill says in bold suppose to mock Tom, Star's ex boyfriend, from the episode Blood Moon Ball?**_

 **No... but... oh my gosh! I never realized that! I had to rewatch Blood Moon Ball to realize that! What a coincidence!**

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 **KawiiChicken (guest review): _Too Steven Universe!XD_**

 **Maybe I should start actually watching that show**

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 **Shmez (guest review): _Actually Bill CAN become a human  
_** _ **Bill is a shapeshifter and he took Soos's form in dreamscapers. However, otherwise you are correct**_

 **Bill did appear to be Soos, but that was in the Mindscape. Without possessing someone, Bill can't do anything to the outside world except cast a shadow.**

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 **Shmez (guest review): _THIS NOT ABOUT YOU NOT SHIPPING BILLDIP_**  
 _ **This question is because of some thing you said in your summary and is unrelated to that I sure I am misinterpreting things ( also I hate dirkjake but not beaches it's maleslash but for other reasons and I like other same sex ships like twidash this futher demonstrates that this is not about you not shipping Billdip.**_  
 _ **My question... You don't have a problem with Homo/Bi sexuality do you? It's ok if you consider it a sin if you're a religion person what I mean is do you support LGBT rights and would not be mean to/bully/harrass/discrimate someone based off of there sexual orientation and want them/support their human rights like for example their right to live but there is more to being pro LGBT than that of course but you know what I mean but I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding**_  
 _ **I would delight in receiving your help in clearing up this misunderstanding yes this is not relevant to the story but this is a important issue of human rights**_  
 _ **But surely this was a misunderstanding**_

 **Don't worry. I am LDS, so I believe it's a sin, but it's terrible that people have to bully them. The reason I don't ship BillDip is because... well, one of the many, many, many, many, many, (once more for emphasis:) many reasons I don't like MaBill is because Mabel hates Bill. Well, if anyone hates Bill more than Mabel, it's Dipper. He tricked him, possessed him, and... well, did you SEE what he did to his body?! Also, I've NEVER seen a BillDip story that had any background information. It's either that they fall in love in ONE CHAPTER, or they're already in love before the story. However, I guess it's possible Dipper could be bi... well, that is, if Bill is male. He did say there are 14 billion different genders in his dimension.  
Again, this was just a misunderstanding, but I'm happy to answer all your questions.**

* * *

 **Kaira (guest review):**

 ** _Me: Okay, I like the story. I'm hanging out with the MaBill shipling._**  
 ** _MaBill: GAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!_**  
 ** _Me: Now now MaBill, don't get upset. Besides, the chance of your ship happening is basically one percent-_**  
 ** _MaBill: Dang it! Mabel should have just accepted, and she would fall in love, and MaBill would have happened. But no, she just sjaid one date, and she ruined the whole thing! I hate it! Aagh!_**  
 ** _Me: It's not her fault! Blame Gideon, blame Gideon..._**  
 ** _MaBill: Ooh, South Park parody song!_**

 ** _Me: Watch out, MaBill is angry. In fact, I saw her trying to find another True Bouquet.  
_** _ **MaBill: Where...is...Aagh!  
**_ _ **Me: Calm down, little shipling.**_  
 _ **MaBill: Calm? Calm?! YOU EXPECT ME TO BE CALM, WHEN I GOT THE TRUE BOUQUET, ALL FOR NOTHING?!**_  
 _ **Me: Just remember when I did that South Park song parody?**_  
 _ **MaBill: Yeah...**_  
 _ **Me: Are you okay? Wanna go make a fanfic?**_  
 _ **MaBill: MY SHIP DID NOT HAPPEN, IF YOU RECALL. AND I DON'T WANT A MABILL FANFIC. I WANT THE REAL DEAL. OKAY?!**_  
 _ **Me: Yeesh. You make it seem like Schmendin should have got the bouquet.**_  
 _ **MaBill: Ugh, don't even speak of that horrendous...thing. Even though I believe anyone could fall in love with anything, I don't think that they could fall in love. I mean, that ship is totally disgusting! Pinecest was the only one who thought it was cute. Besides, no one ships them.**_  
 _ **Me: Yeah. Hey wanna go drill into a false nail and brush on pink lipstick?**_  
 _ **MaBill: Sure! *bores into nail with a tool***_  
 _ **Me: *brushes on pink lipstick* Now let's throw it at Pinecest! *throws it at Pinecest***_  
 _ **Pinecest: Ow! What was that for?**_  
 _ **MaBill: For thinking that Schmendin is cute. I mean come on! He's hideous!**_  
 _ **Pinecest: No! He's adorable! Everyone said he is!**_  
 _ **Melsoos: No one said he's adorable.**_  
 _ **Pinecest: Shut up Melsoos! *tackles her***_  
 _ **Me: Oh boy.**_  
 ** _MaBill: *sips lemonade*_**

 **I love this! Where did you find them**

* * *

 **Azuri: _Good story. Also I think MaBill should be half human half demon because even though she's the Love God's daughter, shiplings are supposed to be like the kids of the two people or demons, or animals. In this case, MaBill is basically what Mabel and Bill's child would be like. I think she'd have a sweater, like Mabel does, but instead of a shooting star it has Bill Cipher on it. And her makeup would be rainbow eyeshadow and blush, and yellow lipstick and all of it is representing Mabel's shooting star. I can help you with looks and personalities for the other shiplings if you like. And by the way, I'd be happy to suggest ideas for new shiplings. Here is one of mine: Stancest, the shipling of Stanley Pines and Stanford Pines. He's...uh...a much more mature, geeky, mystery lover, money hogging, somewhat criminal 18-year old version of Pinecest. Mabel's drawing in "A Tale Of Two Stans" probably started Stancest. He has a fez with a six-fingered hand that he never goes anywhere without._**

 **Thank you so much! I sorta made MaBill more human, because shiplings' appearances are up to the fandom, and Bill usually becomes human in MaBill stories. I realized there's a couple of other shiplings I never included. I'd love to hear more suggestions from you.**

* * *

clue

* * *

clue

* * *

thevoices

bill'sconscience

figuredout?


	5. spinthewheel

**HeRe It CoMeS...**

 _nonononononononononononononono..._

spinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheel

 _NONONONONO_

SPIN

 **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart** **GlassesQuestionmarkIceShrinerfishPinetreeStarSixfingersShootingstarLlamaStitchedheart**

spinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheelspinthewheel

 _somethinganythingplease_

 **Shrinerfish**

 **Pinetree**

 **Star**

 **Sixfingers**

 **...**

 **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR** **SHOOTING STAR**

 _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_ _NO_

 **YoU cAn'T cHaNgE tHiS,** _ **Bill**_ **.**

 _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_ _somethinganything_

 **ToO lAtE.**

 _nonononononononono... nono- n-no..._

he'schanging

it'shappening

thetrueboquet

it'sdone

thinkofthem

 _...wh-wha? u-uh.._

 ** _L;KDFJG;LAKLDFJKLWHF[0WRU]Q\224985609786ASJKDFHKLAJDSFHKLAJSDFHLKJL! #$%^ &*()_+! #$%^&*()_+[]{}{]{}{}{}{}BILLCIPHERTRIANGLE{][][][][][][]{}{][}[][][]{][][][]A[][MABELPINESLOVE_**

 _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_ _mabel_

 _whatisthisemotion_

he'sinlove

he'sinlove

 _noit'snot_ _noit'snot_ _noit'snot_ _noit'snot_ _noit'snot_ _noit'snot_

 **DoN't DeNy, ThIs, _Bill._ It'S dOnE. tHe TrUe BoQuEt CaUsEd ThIs. YoU'rE iN lOvE. sToP oR i'Ll MaKe YoU fAlL iN lOvE wItH sOmEoNe ElSe. Ha Ha... LoVe TrIaNgLe.**

thatwasactuallyprettyfunny

highfiveme!

 _w-what should I do now~?_

ASKHEROUT

duh...

flirtwithher

 _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENING_ _THISISTOTALLYHAPPENINGMABELMABELMABEL_ _MABELMABEL_ _MABELMABEL_ _MABELMABEL_ _MABELMABEL_ _MABELMABEL_

 **Confused? I bet you'll be.**

 **But some chapters have changed, you see.**

 **Look back, at the end.**

 **Property Of H, your friend**

 **Has left clues to who is speaking**

 **So no longer you'll be freaking**

 **Three lines, then a clue.**

 **When someone figure it out, I'll tell you...**

 **WHAT REALLY HAPPENED**

* * *

clue

* * *

clue

* * *

go back to the previous chapters


	6. Bill Digresses a Lot

_Fact of the Chapter: In the French version of Gravity Falls, A Tale of Two Stans was skipped. The show went from Not What He Seems to Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons._

 **Note: This will be a relatively short chapter, but the next chapter will be longer.**

"Okay, Bill. First, we need to figure out what you'll look like in human form. All we need to do is get you in Wampers' body, and with your new godly powers you can shapeshift at will." said MaBill.

"SOUNDS GREAT!" agreed Bill. "I'M THINKING ABOUT THIS!"

Bill waved his hand. To his left appeared a hologram of a three-foot tall redhead boy with six toes. And not six toes on one foot, I mean six toes _total_. He also had a top hat drawn on his forehead.

"Umm... I was thinking more like, tall, blond, wearing a yellow tux, maybe even an eye-patch?" said MaBill.

Bill laughed. "WHO EVEN CAME UP WITH THAT? AND WHY WOULD I BE TALLER THAN MABEL?"

MaBill faltered. "W-well, you're yellow, and you wear a bow tie, so-"

"I ALSO TURN RED WHEN I'M ANGRY! ONE TIME SOME FANGIRLS OF MINE WERE ANNOYING ME, SO I TOLD THEM TO CONSTRUCT A HUMAN THRONE IN THE DESERTS OF NEVADA! CAN'T YOU BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY OBEYED ME? MAYBE I SHOULD GO THERE, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I NEVER TOLD THEM TO LEAVE-"

"Bill! Focus! Don't you want to get with Mabel?"

"WHO? WAIT! WAIT! I REMEMBER! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HELPING ME! GOSH..."

MaBill couldn't stand it. "BILL! Do you want to walk up to Mabel looking like a Dorito?"

Bill burst into tears.

Mabifica hugged him. "Shhh... it's okay, Bill. You're not a Dorito. You're a big, strong, triangle."

Bill sniffed. "I AM? WELL, OF COURSE I KNEW THAT! YOU KNOW, THOSE EGYPTIAN PYRAMIDS DIDN'T DESIGN THEMSELVES! I ALWAYS ADMIRED THAT CULTURE, 'CAUSE THEY ALWAYS REMOVED THE MUMMIES BRAINS THROUGH THEIR NOSES! KING TUT HAD KIND OF A BIG HEAD, SO HIS NOSTRILS GOT STRETCHED OUT A LOT! MAN, THE MUMMIFIERS WERE FREAKING OUT SO MUCH, THAT THEY RUINED HIS PERFECT FACE, AND THEN..."

 **Several hours later...**

"...SO AFTER I GOT FIRED FROM TETRIS, I HAD TO WORK AT TILLAMOOK! CAN'T YOU BELIEVE IT? SOMEONE MISTOOK ME FOR A WEDGE OF CHEESE. I HATED THAT JOB! WHEN HE WAS ASLEEP, I BENDED BACK HIS FINGERS AS FAR AS POSSIBLE! WHAT FUN! THERE WAS ANOTHER NERD THERE WHO TOLD ME THAT ALL I NEED IS THE RESURRECTION STONE AND THE ELDER WAND AND THEN I'D BE THE DEA- HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING?!"

"Hm? Uh... yeah." yawned MaBill. She was beginning to accept defeat. Bill is in love with Mabel, but there's so much going on in his triangular head that he can't even take orders from anyone. MaBill had no idea how to get Bill to Mabel.

Then she had an idea. You'll have to imagine the light bulb above MaBill's head.

MaBill would take Mabel to Bill. When he realizes that Mabel is coming, he'll finally listen to MaBill, and BOOM! It'll be just like fanfiction.

She just had to find a way to get Mabel here.


End file.
